Hello my friends! My name is Jeannie Gainsburg. I’m the author of the new book The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate and founder of Savvy Ally Action. I had the great pleasure of joining Adrianne’s on her Nursing Uncensored podcast recently, and she invited me to submit a blog on the topic of how nurses can create more LGBTQ+ inclusive spaces. Yay!

But, before I start, I need to state two things:

• I understand that you lovely people are generally overworked, underpaid and that you have a heck of a lot on your plates already.

• Nurses ROCK!

Why did I feel the need to begin like this? Because I’m about to offer 8 tips on ways that you may be able to create safer and more inclusive spaces for LGBTQ+ patients and coworkers and I need you to know that I understand that you already do a great deal to help people and make them feel safe and welcome. I know that changing everyday language and behaviors is a process. It won’t happen overnight, and no one expects it to. If you’re on board with these tips and you feel that they’re important to implement, consider taking them one at a time. Start with just one tip or language tweak. Maybe it’s something you catch yourself saying all the time. Focus on that until you have it down, and then move onto another. Self-care and forgiveness, baby!

So, here we go…People are often at their most vulnerable when they’re having medical issues, are in the hospital, and/or are being poked and prodded. Add to that the fact that LGBTQ+ people have a long history of oppression and (okay, I’ll say it) abuse by medical professionals and mental health providers (i.e. denial of treatment, lobotomies, assault, non-consensual electroshock therapy), and you’ve got a group of people on your hands who have some major barriers to healthcare. LGBTQ+ individuals, especially transgender individuals, are more likely to distrust health professionals and more likely to delay seeking healthcare than their straight and cisgender (i.e., not transgender) counterparts.

Okay, so you get it. You’ve got a community of folks who are nervous as hell about how they’re going to be treated in health facilities. Now let’s add on the additional fact that you may not even know who these folks are. It’s not like they’re all walking in holding hands with their same-sex partner or wearing shirts that say, “This is what trans looks like.” (This awesome shirt actually exists, by the way – Shout out to the great Jason Ballard, founder of FTM Magazine.) But being able to be authentic and honest about who you are and who you consider family is essential for quality care. So, how do you let these (often invisible) folks know that you are there to support them and that you are a safe person? Below are 8 everyday ally actions that will help to create that space for authenticity and are pretty easy to implement.

1) Ungender your language. Using ungendered language is a great way to indicate to a patient or coworker that you understand that not everyone is straight and cisgender and that you are open to hearing about their authentic selves and their loved ones. Use spouse or partner instead of husband or wife. Use they instead of he or she if you are unsure of gender. Rather than calling all the boys “cowboy” and all the girls “princess,” try using “friend” for all the children. Ask ungendered, open-ended questions like, “Who do you consider family?”

2) Mirror terms. One of the simplest and most effective ways to be respectful with our language is to mirror the terms that people use for themselves, their loved ones, and their relationships. If a woman tells you that her wife will be visiting her in the hospital, then you have just received valuable information for being respectful. You should now switch from your previous, excellently chosen ungendered term of partner to wife.

3) Be aware of common LGBTQ+ etiquette bloopers. You don’t need to know every LGBTQ+ term or identity under the sun, but it is important to be aware of some very common language bloopers. (Hint: Living in the woods without a flush toilet is a lifestyle. Being gay isn’t.) Please check out these 3-minute videos for the 6 most common bloopers.

4) Ask everyone how you should refer to them. Regardless of whether you believe someone is part of the LGBTQ+ communities or not, asking everyone how they would like to be addressed is a great way to make all people feel comfortable and respected. Consider offering your information first. For example, “Hi. I’m Beatrice Johnson. Please call me Bea. My pronouns are she, her, and hers.” You can also help normalize the sharing of pronouns by adding yours to your name badge or by wearing a pronoun pin.

5) Share the information. Most medical forms are way behind the times. Many patients don’t see themselves represented in the standard “M” or “F” boxes or the relationship status options of married, single, divorced, or separated. This, of course, brings up the additional allying task of advocating for change, which is a whole other topic. But, if through your respectful and inclusive language you’ve managed to sleuth out some good information about a patient that will increase their comfort level, make a note in the chart. For example: “Please refer to this patient as Georgette, even though this is not her legal name, and use she, her, and hers for her pronouns.”

6) Offer privacy. Be aware of your surroundings when discussing personal information with LGBTQ+ people and find private spaces for conferences whenever possible. Transgender individuals, especially transgender women of color, are at an extremely high risk for violence. “Outing” a transgender person to other patients by using the wrong name or pronoun may create a very unsafe situation. If there’s any confusion about which is the correct name to use, have that conversation with the patient behind closed doors.

7) Visibly show your support. LGBTQ+ people often look for visible signs of support to assess whether a person or an agency is safe and inclusive. Wear a pin that says, “ally” or one that has a rainbow on it. Create a more welcoming agency by hanging a rainbow sign that says, “All Families Welcome Here.”

8) Be patient with transgender folks. Be aware that transgender people may have intense feelings of distress about their bodies. This may make a variety of common examinations extremely uncomfortable for them. Use the patient’s language to describe identities, relationships, sexual behaviors, body parts, and health concerns. Let them know what you’re going to be doing and invite them to pause the examination if they need a break.

Okay, so that was a lot. Believe me when I say that you’re going to mess up initially. We all do. Being an ally is an ongoing journey of messing up, making an appropriate apology, forgiving yourself, and working towards getting it right the next time. We’re all on an ongoing journey of learning, growing, and changing. Please check out this brief video on how to mess up properly and ways to get it right the next time.

If you found this blog useful, I hope you’ll check out my new book, The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate which was published by Rowman & Littlefield in March 2020. (March 12th to be exact. Can you picture THAT excellent timing?)

The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate

By Gainsburg, Jeannie

Buy on Amazon

It is a fun, encouraging, and easy to understand guidebook on how to be an ally that is sure to jump-start even the most tentative ally. Also, several of my 3-minute videos were featured in this blog, and if you enjoyed them, I hope you’ll subscribe to either my website (www.savvyallyaction.com) or to my Savvy Ally Action YouTube channel.

Thank you so much for making the world a better place for everyone!

Check out Jeannie’s interview with Adrianne on the podcast

nursinguncensored.com/episodes/lgbtq-allyship

nursinguncensored.com/videos/lgbtq-allyship

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