I call bullshit.
I am sitting at my desk, the sun freshly up, and I'll be going to bed soon. It’s my first night back to work after a week-long staycation. It’s not a staycation i’m going to be bragging about.
In fact, this is why I am calling myself out. I was a slug for a solid Tuesday-to-Tuesday stretch.
I had all these plans. To hike. To clean out some closets. To drop off donations. See some friends. Have a birthday dinner. Ride my bike. Go to the Farmer’s Market. Make dinner and play games with bae.
What actually happened was I only left my property, like, three times. I had to wash the same load of laundry 3 times because I kept forgetting to dry it. I napped q4 hours and I have vague memories of Doug trying to wake me up in the middle of the day as I snored on the couch. I have a faint memory of him BLASTING classical music and chanting my nickname. I rolled back over and went to sleep again.
To be fair, I gave the website a makeover, had birthday brunch with a few of my favorite people at my fav local breakfast spot (hello fried chicken and kimchi on grits) and managed to get some chores done before the sun actually rose. We tried to go on a bike ride but a downpour stopped us about a half a block into the ride. Damn, I mean, I’m a youthful 38, but not for long if I keep slamming sugar and sleeping my days away.
Which brings me to my next confession. I also - with the help of Doug - ate an entire coconut cream pie that Brad masterfully crafted from scratch. It’s ok that Doug pigged out. He runs and eats well. I, well...don’t. I let my game slide. Badly.
So now I’m about to go back to the normal two nights on, two nights off, two nights on cycle that I actually don’t mind. But I am wishing I had been doing my yoga, and hydration and veggie eating because I feel like a bloated fat cat.
So I’m gonna try to “straighten up and fly right” as my dad used to demand when I was misbehaving. I’m going to do some yoga before bed. Hyper-hydrate a little (my bladder can take it), and leave everything ready by the front door so that I don’t have any stress when I wake up.
Tonight, I am prescribing to myself pushing PO fluids, take the stairs at least some of the time, skip the milkshake machine, and pay attention to my ergonomics on shift.
Though I fell off the wagon and rolled down a mountain, I’m not going to beat myself up about it. All that does is discourage me more. And I would never berate a good friend for skipping a workout and eating a whole pie. I’d encourage them to do better.
I encourage you to try this with me. Instead of beating yourself up for something that you goofed up, didn’t do or didn’t do as well as you know you could have, give yourself a little forgiveness and try again - starting now. You do nice and right and kind things for others all the time. Mentally list all those things, and then try to add nice and right and kind things for yourself to that list.
I’m going to keep this post brief so I can focus on actually living up to the standards I just set for myself. up there. I’ve got water in hand, I’ve already started stretching out my hands and neck and I switched from my 5 hour podcast binge to some chill jazz-hip-hop channel on Spotify. It’s officially wind-down time.